Why we marched
This photo was taken a week ago with other amazing women at Tuff Girl Fitness where I build strength in my body and soul.
On Saturday, I spent the day in D.C. with hundreds of thousands others and several wonderful friends to support women, justice and human rights. The D.C. Women’s march was amazing, inspiring and cathartic.
I returned this week to my reality. After an event this week, a senior colleague said to me, “It looks like you are expecting”. I said, “No, I am not” as a wave of shame washed over me. This has happened to me so many times by both men and women after I present amazing science or just walk down the hall.
Even if I was pregnant, it is really none of their business. I realize that MAYBE these people are excited for me that I might be bringing another person into this world. But there are so many other possibilities like……
1. I have been working to get tenure at Yale and fix this lovely institution and raise my 2 daughters and keep my marriage afloat and fight against the rise of fascism in the US and not necessarily on what I eat……
2. I don’t like starving (and that is what I need to do to lose weight) because I can’t bring awesomeness to my everyday….
Melissa Willet suggested the following after a similar experience:
It took me a few moments to collect myself, and begin thinking of the comebacks I wish I’d been quick enough to spew at her before she tore off, such as:
1. No, but thanks for calling attention to the permanent bulge underneath my belly button after having three kids!
2. Yes, I’m due next week. Don’t I look great?
3. Well I don’t know. Do you happen to have a vaginal probe to do an ultrasound?
4. So, this dress does make me look fat! I knew it!
5. No, but are you by chance the devil?
6. I knew we had something in common!
7. I hate you.
8. Yes, I’m pregnant with a dozen babies actually! It’s a new world record.
9. Please hold on while I throw myself in front of this overloaded Smarte Cart.
10. Wait, is this an intervention? I know I said I might want to have more kids, but I swear, I’m not insane!
Meanwhile, I just want to add I would never ask another woman if she was pregnant – not even an acquaintance, let alone a total stranger – if I wasn’t sure.